Kevin Marshall's America
A Reader Comments (ARC?) in response to Things You Hate That Everybody Else Loves:
“I am not to say who reads books but judging from YOUR followers, only one so far gave feedback about an author. Can you start a thread about awful magazines and books?”
You got it. I’ll give two examples of each. First, magazines.
Well la dee da.
ROLLING STONE – It bothers me not because it’s a mainstream music and pop culture magazine for teenagers, but rather that at times it carries an attitude to it as if it’s not. It’s more of that boring whitebread stuff masquerading as rebellion. Admittedly, I hink a lot of that is because many of the writers on the magazine’s staff may be trying to subtly thwart editorial edicts, which can result in conflicting messages. Either way, I hate it. And all the freaking ads.
THE NEW YORKER - There’s a lot of great stuff in there, but some of it carries such an overbearing sense of self-importance at times. Which you’d think I’d love considering my own meandering and pretentious style of writing. But you’d be wrong; I’m full of Irish Catholic self-loathing. If you see someone reading The New Yorker, it’s done in a matter that almost says “look at me, I’m reading The New Yorker.” And if you read The New Yorker, you realize about the third article in that really everyone’s writing the same sentence over and over again, which reads “look at you, you’re reading The New Yorker.” Everyone whose work appears in The New Yorker are very talented folks – all of them far more so than yours truly – which is why it’s such a shame they’re so unlikable. But I guess that’s writers for you.
And now, books.
THE DAVINCI CODE. I heard so much about this book, particularly how great it was.
“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be a fine mystery type pulp novel,” I’d say.
“No. It will BLOW YOUR MIND,” they’d respond. In all caps even.
And it did. It blew my mind that people I normally consider smart people with taste would actually think this was anything other than a book with elements cribbed from other books about the Catholic Church and the Knights Templar. And the characters weren’t bad, they were non-existent. They might as well have been robots running around and discovering dark secrets about the Vatican. What dreck!
Also, most of what I’ve read from Anne Rice (ex.Interview with the Vampire; The Vampire Lestat). The first book of hers I read I thought she was going for a specific stilted style of dialogue owing to immortal beings birthed out of the 19th Century. Then I just realized she’s probably just a crazy shut-in who doesn’t know how real people act around each other.
REACT: Give ‘em up, folks.
Everyone have a fun and safe weekend! I need you guys back here. For the clicks and attention, mostly, but I also care a little.
Share it!
17 Responses to Books & Magazines You Hate That Everyone Else Loves
Leave a Reply
STALK ME
I’m quite upset that you didn’t choose smarter books/magazines to review. That anonypants gave you a challenge and you have clearly failed.
What, you have no copies of Esquire or Cosmo in your workspace? People could actually learn from those. What pocket square goes with your tweed jacket? See page five.
Look at me. I am disappointed in you. Friendship over.
All the Twilight books, and anything Stephenie Meyer touches basically just turns to poo. Runny poo. But you knew I’d say that.
Not fond of Nicholas Sparks, but I’ll admit I haven’t tried reading him yet. I’m more irritated by the fact that he thinks he’s God’s gift to pen and paper.
Also not a fan of the LoTR trilogy. I can appreciate what Tolkien did, but it’s just not my cup of tea. Couldn’t get into it. I own it, and I’ll try it again someday, but it’s not a go-to book for me.
I enjoyed the controversy that surrounded the Da Vinci Code far more than I enjoyed the book itself. This was mostly because I was in a very religious school at the time and it became a pastime of ours to mention the book to our religion teachers and see how long we could get them to rant about it. That being said, I agree that it’s not too great a book. I read it and think “this should be a movie”…and then they go and make it a movie and completely change the story (but that’s a rant for another time). The problem is that Dan Brown was actually a decent writer until he became famous “Angels and Demons”, “Deception Point” and “Digital Fortress” (i think) are alright books. But his new book “Lost Symbol”, was crap, b/c he was trying to pander to the “Da Vinci Code” audience. A shame really.
I refuse to pick up any Anne Rice books, but mostly because I associate people with awful tastes in pretty much all literature with them (so I can’t speak for their actual content).
Other books I detest: “Wuthering Heights”, “Pride and Prejudice”, and “Catcher in the Rye”. I get a lot of evil looks whenever I mention these. For the first two, I just dislike the way the authors portray women, and for the latter, I just dislike the ideals represented in the story. It also didn’t help that I was forced to discuss each of these ad nauseam in high school.
Maxim magazine – on the few occasions I’ve read it, I’ve been ashamed to be a man.
Most women’s magazines seemingly have the same exact cover stories each month: “Lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks!” “Find the right jeans for your body type” and the classic “50 new tricks to drive your man wild in bed”. (NOTE I only read the covers of these things I find about my house)
As for books – it’s hard to pick a book that I “hate”, since usually if I commit to reading it there is usually something I like about it, otherwise I would have stopped out of boredom or disinterest. I guess in general, I dislike any book that I am told that I MUST read. Similarly, I refuse to see “The Blind Side” or go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Clearly we are friends because we hate The DaVinci Code. It’s the favorite book of the illiterate and I don’t think I’m missing anything.
The Da Vinci code can’t be seconded enough. What horrible writing.
Rolling Stone isn’t relevant enough to care about.
Toni Morrison’s ‘Beloved’ (also made into a film starring Oprah) was dreadful.
I hope you don’t ask us what movies we dislike. I could write a whole book about why ‘Shrek’ is the worst movie ever made. (Ignoring intentional B-movies, made-for-TV, and the like.)
Totally agree about DaVinci Code & all Dan Brown dreck but re The New Yorker: David Sedaris “so unlikable”?
BTW – no relation here to Anne Rice (not her real name anyway) I’m tired to the undeath of ALL the Vampire stuff – especially the so-called erotic Vampire fiction & films. PLEASE! Can’t we all just admit that sex is fun and stop cloaking it in all this mumbo-jumbo?
PC Rice:
#7 – Like I said, not all folks who contribute to The New Yorker are like that. And I love Sedaris’s stuff to death, even though I’m sure that will invite someone to admit they hate his stuff and don’t understand all the hoopla surrounding him. Which, honestly, I totally get.
#8 – THANK you! It’s one thing to work out those suppressed desires and urges, but can’t we do it with a bit more creativity and lot less self-centered brooding? “I can’t make you like me, because then I’ll hate you, woe is me I am so cursed.” Put a bloody sock in it, vampires!
First Kevin Marshall, you really need to read The Blind Side. The movie did the book justice, but I cannot put the book down. It’s addictive, like crack and cookies with frosting from WalMart.
Secondly, I am pretty upset with ICUP. Sally may have commented on Nicholas Sparks, but everything I know about Twilight is from the book series. So TWO people referenced books.
Of course some people just like to troll with no idea what they’re talking about. So RASPBERRIES!
I disagree with you regarding “Rolling Stone” as I think “Spin” magazine comes off so much more as trying to be “hip/cool/etc…”, however just about everything they cover is “fly by night” here and gone…….. If you read SPIN for the last 48 months, probably half of the cover bands now pump gas….
The New Yorker is a quirky read, but don’t take it that seriously…..They try to seem witty, and will quote Norman Mailer from time to time to get their “street cred”, but nobody really cares about them…..
Regarding your book reference, I feel for you that you even read “Da Vinci”. I’d rather re-read anything by Mailer, Styron, or Henry Miller anytime……
The best quote I ever heard about Rolling Stone was how it LOVES Bono sooo much..the quote was “If Bono farted into a microphone, RS would call it inspired.”
Here’s my list:
Playboy:yeah,you only read the articles……you even hang them on the wall of your garage.
Harry Potter books: yeah becasue kids are so rooted in reality to begin with.Let’s have Johnny believe in magic,so he can get beat up everyday at school.
I also don’t like book snobs. Somehow ,unless you read the books THEY read,your reading doesn’t count.
Of course the last book I read was a pop-up.So I can’t judge.
I hate “The New York Times.” There. I said it. I hate “The New York Times.” (No, it’s not a magazine or a book, but it’s words printed on paper, so that’s close enough, right?)
Let me be clear that this isn’t an ideological statement; I’m as lefty leaning as the next New York non-profit executive. Rather, it’s a statement against the smug, self-satisfied, supercilious air exuded by “The New York Times” (and those who make a point of letting you know that they read it)(and make comments about curling up and tackling it cover to cover on Sunday morning, before tackling the crossword puzzle in pen) and its lack of decent, timely sports coverage and a comics section.
Given the choice of reading “The New York Times” or “The Troy Record” over a breakfast of grilled cheese and sausage, I’ll take the record every time, no contest.
I hate any magazine or book written or edited by anyone who lives in Manhattan Mon-Fri and has a huge country place in Columbia, Dutchess, Berkshire, or Litchfield County. Just on principle that anybody who can afford two houses probably isn’t a trench-dwelling writer.
Many years ago, a friend told me the all-purpose New Yorker plot, and I laugh to this day: “I was really depressed about my divorce, so I drove my Volvo to Cape Cod, thought too much about things, and still haven’t come out of my brain fart. Nice sunset, though.”
I really haven’t read much fiction in years, because most “literary” fiction seems to be by and about people who got their MFAs and now teach other people how to get MFAs…very incestuous. Somewhere between that tripe and Jack Henry Abbott there hasta be a market for muscular real-world fiction, I usedta think. Which is why I switched to journalism to make a living.
Of course, if somebody gave me a big enough advance on the strength of a three-page summary, I could come up with a darned entertaining novel that includes the Three Magi and a unique kosher combustible (just in case any editors with weekend places in Columbia, Dutchess, Berkshire or Litchfield County read your blog and have a sense of adventure).
LOL! I admit, I like the New Yorker for their sarcastic and at times obtuse cartoons. I have since my pre-pubescent days. Always been a sucker for comix & toons.
Stone was a good mag in the late 1960’s and 1970’s. I’ve probably outgrown their poseur attitude.
Eric, Section 4, the Week in Review of the NY Times is worth a read for–what else?–the political cartoons.
Kevin: good take on the Da Vinci Code, I think (I refused to read it). I’d much rather get into a good detective yarn any day.
#13 (J. Eric) – Re: those that read it and comment on the Sunday reading, etc. What’s even more obnoxious is how the New York Times embraces that reader attitude. Remember that TV ad campaign they launched years ago? They had all these obnoxious people basically saying “I read it because basically I’m better and make more money than you.” So basically, they launched an ad campaign to let the general television viewing public know that really only a select few have the time and personal depth to read and appreciate the New York Times. Way to expand your base! Whoever designed that campaign needs to be ridden off Madison Avenue on a rail.
#14 (Gman) – Your friend’s description is one of the greatest things, like, ever.
I’m still waiting to see if the movie “Precious” can live up to the panic attacks, sick stomach, tears and fist-pumping (the good, you-are-amazing! kind) reactions the book “Push” had for me.